Following on from one of my most popular posts so far (5 reasons I won’t follow you on Twitter), I thought I’d share my list of reasons I won’t be following you on Instagram!
1. If you have no link: I spend pretty much my entire life on Twitter and I get excited when I see someone promoting their gorgeous Insta account. It makes me want to follow the account, so I go to click the link in the tweet, but there isn’t one, you’ve only written your username. I’m lazy by nature so closing down the Twitter app, waiting for my phone to freeze, finally getting to open up Instagram, clicking the search button then typing in your name and following you? It’s way too much effort, soz, even if your pics are #goals.
2. You only post inspirational quotes: I like the occasional one as much as the next person and sometimes a genuinely lovely one can make me smile for a couple of minutes. But most of the time, especially if I’m in the mood from hell, I just scroll past hurriedly and mutter swears under my breath. Because I hate most of those really cringey ones. I don’t want to be like a magical unicorn and don’t get me started on “A face without freckles is like a night without stars” or “A stranger is a friend you just haven’t met yet” They make my insides feel funny and not in a good way. Besides, I want to see your pics of make-up and cats, your latest trip to Disney, the amazing sunset you captured last night or the box of doughnuts you bought from Krispy Kreme.
3. You’re a serial liker: You’ve liked pretty much every one of my photos; including that badly lit one taken back in December 2014 of the first Christmas dinner I ever cooked, but you’re not actually following me. I’m a bit cynical and assume you’re only doing it so I’ll pop over to your account and give you a follow for all the love you’ve given me. Sorry to disappoint you, it’s a massive nope. I’ll probably like a couple of your photos to be polite, but I doubt I’m going to follow you unless I really, really, really like your photos. #Notsoz
4. You don’t post anything but regrams: On the same lines as #2, I just find regrams really dull. Especially the competition ones. And I’m more likely to follow the original accounts than I am to follow you.
5. Your account is private: You might post the most beautiful flatlays in the world, but if I can’t see that before I click the follow button then I’m not going to commit myself; just in case you post photos of clowns or trains or public bathrooms or dirty socks on the floor and then I’m stuck because I don’t want to unfollow you straight away or I’ll look like I’m judging your life choices. Even though I am. (Unless I know you in real life or I know you on Twitter.)
What annoys you about Instagram accounts? Let me know in the comments below 🙂 x