I’ve felt a bit lost in the blogging world recently. I’ve seen people getting some incredible opportunities and going to amazing events* while I’m sitting at home wondering why it’s not me. Why I’m not good enough or pretty enough or engaging enough to get all those fab blogger emails you hear about.
Then I went even further down the blogger’s blackhole and thought that maybe it’s because my hair isn’t pastel or rainbow coloured, or because I can’t draw or sing or have a talent that might actually be profitable. Maybe, thought I, it’s because I’m not funny enough or I’m no longer young enough, but I’m not quite old enough to be an “older blogger”. Maybe the way I smile annoys people or my accent gets on people’s nerves.
But then, because I do have *some* sense of rationality after all, I slowly came to the realisation that although it is because of me; it’s more specifically because of my attitude towards blogging. Because I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a half-arsed blogger.
If you’re following me on social media, you might have noticed I’ve had a name change recently. If you’ve not noticed (where the hell have you been?), I’ve gone from being Closingwinter to Golly Miss Holly. This is to coincide with a re-brand that’ll be happening sometime soon.
Except that recently, I haven’t been able to find the motivation to be excited about it. I wanted it to look amazing and have a sleek new exciting feel to it, but I couldn’t help but wonder if just having a shiny new website and a name change would actually make any difference to my stats or my email inbox.
Until I realised that I’m only going to get out what I put into it. If I want to reap the rewards of blogging, then I have to work at it. Hard. I’d have to stay up for hours writing amazing content, taking stunning photos and being super engaging on social media. I’d have to up my Insta game and create the most beautiful flatlays known to man, buy flowers just for photos and drive J bonkers with props galore.
But you know what? I’m okay with not doing any of that, because right now I’m okay with not putting my all into blogging. And it’s totally okay if you feel like that too. There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back for a while, evaluating what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and what you want actually want to achieve from it. Blogging is meant to be my happy space, somewhere I can come to chat or share something new, something exciting or to share a recipe or a product I think you’ll love. It was never meant to be about earning money or going to events and product launches. It was meant to be chilled and relaxed.
The bottom line is this; the whole time I thought I was being jealous of other bloggers’s successes and opportunities, but it actually it turns out I’m just jealous of their sheer determination to succeed, to write that amazing content and to make a difference in the (blogging) world.
But for now? I’m Holly, a half-arsed blogger and that’s okay.
Have you ever felt like you’re being a bit half-arsed in the blogging world? Let me know in the comments below 🙂 x
*P.S. I’d like to point out that I’m extremely grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had whilst blogging, please don’t think I’m not. I’m hoping you guys get what I’m trying to say!!