10 Times Buffy Broke My Heart

If you know anything about me, you’ll know that Buffy The Vampire Slayer has always had a special place in my heart. I started getting into it back in 2000 and the first episode I ever watched was Halloween (season 2). I know, it’s shocking that I didn’t start watching it right from the off, but I was soon hooked and have been a massive fan ever since.

(Please note that the main bulk of this post contains massive spoiler alerts, so if you’ve never seen it and think you might want to, this post is definitely not for you, sorry! ♥) If you love Buffy, then read on 🙂Buffy was a tremendously ground-breaking show at the time, paving the way for strong female leads. It was filled with sassy quips, plenty of demons and a lot of teen angst. It’s definitely one of my top go-to series to put on, especially if I’m in need of a really good cry. So here are my top ten moments when the show broke my heart (in order of season).

Season one:

  • Prophecy Girl – At the end of season one, Buffy learns that not only must she face The Master (the local “vampire king”) but in order to fulfil an ancient prophecy, she must die at his hands (okay, more likely his fangs, but you know what I mean!) She tries so hard to be brave about it, but as she tells Giles she doesn’t want to die, her voice breaks slightly and you can see her absolute vulnerability.

Buffy: I quit, remember? Pay attention!
Giles: Buffy, if The Master rises…
Buffy: I don’t care! I don’t care. Giles, I’m 16 years old. I don’t wanna die.

Season two:

  • Becoming (Part Two) – The very first time I ever watched Becoming (parts one and two) I swear I actually felt my heart break. Having lost his soul by doing rudies with Buffy earlier on in the series, Angelus is intent on destroying the world by summoning a demon, Acathla. Using his blood, he opens a portal to swallow the world whole. Elsewhere, Willow stumbles upon a spell to re-curse Angelus with his soul and decides to give it a go. Buffy finds out she can stop the end of the world by using Angelus’s blood to close the portal, but gets there just as Willow finishes her spell to put his soul back. Buffy now has to face the terrible truth that she has to kill Angel to save the world. Add in Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan playing in the background and you’ve got one emotionally-charged episode!

Season three:

  • The Prom – After coming back to life (YAY!), Angel realises he has to end his relationship with Buffy, because it’s easier on both of them. Problem is, he does it right before the prom, so Buffy ends up going it alone. While she’s there, she receives the class protector award from the other students which is endearing enough, but right at the end, Angel turns up in a tux to dance with Buffy. All the feels!!

Season five:

  • The Body – Oh God, where do I even start with what Joss Whedon did? Not only did Joyce die, but there’s an incredibly happy scene where the paramedics arrive and administer CPR and she comes back to life and everything is right in the world again. Then the scene abruptly breaks to see Buffy still standing there. Over Joyce’s dead body. Brutal!
  • Forever – Anya always comes across as heartless and almost robotic, so to see her break down is just heart-wrenching to watch. As Willow and Tara are getting ready to see Buffy at the hospital, Xander and Anya arrive to get them. Anya starts asking inappropriate questions in a very clinical way that Willow finds unbearable to listen to. As an immortal demon, Anya’s never really had to face death in that way before and doesn’t really know how she should be behaving.

Anya: I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s- There’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And-and Xander’s crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

  • Forever – Meanwhile in the episode, Dawn’s struggling with her mum’s death. With the help of Spike, and a demon, she finds a spell to bring her mum back from the dead. When Buffy finds out what she’s doing, she tries reason with Dawn to break the spell because it’s likely Joyce is going to come back as a zombie, or at least not quite right. As Dawn and Buffy are talking, the scene keeps cutting to the lower half of a woman in a long dress stumbling towards their house.

Dawn: I don’t have anybody.
Buffy: What?! Of course you do. You have me!
Dawn: No, I don’t. You won’t even look at me. It’s so obvious you don’t want me around.
Buffy: That’s not true.
Dawn: Yes it is. Mom … died, and it’s like you don’t even care.
Buffy: Of course I care. How can you even think that?
Dawn: How can I not? You haven’t even cried. You’ve just been running around like it’s been some big chore or something. Cleaning up after Mom’s mess.
Buffy: Dawn … I’ve been … working. I’ve been busy, because I have to-
Dawn: No! You’ve been avoiding me.
Buffy: I’m not! … I have to do these things, ’cause … (crying) ’cause when I stop, then she’s really gone. And I’m trying. Dawn, I am, I am really trying to take care of things, but I don’t even know what I’m doing. Mom always knew.
Dawn: Nobody’s asking you to be Mom.
Buffy: Well, who’s gonna be if I’m not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who’s gonna make things better? (crying harder) Who’s gonna take care of us?
Dawn: Buffy…
Buffy: I didn’t mean to push you away, I didn’t. I just, I couldn’t let you see me.

  • The Gift – I mean obviously this is a super sad episode anyway because Buffy dies, saving not only Dawn, but the world as well. In the background while everyone’s grieving, Spike is absolutely broken. His reaction always has me absolutely sobbing 🙁

Season six:

  • Seeing Red – This episode is so lovely. Willow and Tara after months of being broken up (due to Willow’s magic addiction) decide to get back together ♥ Everything is wonderful and they’re so, so happy. Then Joss works his “magic” and BAM, it all goes wrong. Warren, Andrew and Jonathan decide to rob an armoured car carrying money. Buffy shows up and thwarts their plans. Later on she’s sitting in the garden chatting with Xander when Warren shows up, holding a gun. He shoots at Buffy and while running away, fires a random shot which flies through the upstairs bedroom window where Willow and Tara are standing, having been making up all day. The bullet goes through Tara’s chest and splatters Willow with blood. Why, Joss, why?

Season seven:

  • Xander’s speech to Dawn – Dawn’s feeling pretty down because she, for a brief moment, thinks she’s one of the potential slayers and then finds out it was all a mistake. Xander is the only one to notice her and gives this beautiful speech on what it’s like to always be in the background.

Xander: Uh, I’m just thinking about the girls. It’s a harsh gig, being a potential. Just being picked out of a crowd. Danger, destiny. Plus if you act now, death.
Dawn: They can handle it.
Xander: Yeah. They’re special, no doubt. And the amazing thing is, not one of ’em will ever know. Not even Buffy.
Dawn: Know what?
Xander: How much harder it is for the rest of us.
Dawn: No way. They’ve got…
Xander: Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful. A witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but, come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful. All of them. And I’m the guy who fixes the windows.
Dawn: Well. You had that sexy army training for a while, and the windows really did need fixing.
Xander: I saw what you did last night.
Dawn: Yeah, I… I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the Slayer.
Xander: You thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren’t, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment’s pause. You gave her your power.
Dawn: The power wasn’t mine.
Xander: They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realises because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.
Dawn: Maybe that’s your power.
Xander: What?
Dawn: Seeing. Knowing.

  • Touched – Buffy gets kicked out of her own home after The Scooby Gang and the Potentials question her leadership skills. She takes refuge in an abandoned house and is found by Spike. She confesses to him how much self-doubt she has about everything.

Spike: I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine, and done things I’d prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker; I follow my blood, which doesn’t exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you – it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try… I’ve seen your kindness, and your strength, I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy. A hundred plus years. And there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of: you. Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. And it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are: you’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy.
Buffy: I don’t want to be the one.
Spike: I don’t want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.

What are your saddest or favourite Buffy moments? Let me know in the comments below 🙂 x


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